Still waiting. But that's OK. . .

No news yet on the homestudy approval. We finished up the last of the interviews in May and all went smoothly. Hubby's background check FINALLY came back, but my Mom's is missing in action. Now they'll just have to do the old-fashioned name check because we've already sent in fingerprints for my Mom twice. Hopefully, this won't drag out the process. Honestly - a more than four month turnaround for a background check?? Ridonkulous!

I actually did buy some baby stuff the other day. We are going with the Carter's Forest Friends theme for the nursery. We thought it was really cute and had the added bonus of being gender-neutral. I really hadn't planned on buying any of this type of thing before the homestudy was done. But, we are getting the entire house (interior) painted this week and I wanted to make sure I picked a matching color for the nursery. So, I bought the crib set, valances, a lamp, and some wall decals. The first $300 of many thousands I am sure I will spend on gear once I have that homestudy approval in my hot little hands!

I also finished our adoption profile book - and I'm quite happy with the result. I bought 1 copy of the version I had completed so that I could see what the actual product looked like. I am glad I did this - while it was beautiful, I definitely found a few things to improve on text layouts for easier reading and better flow of the background colors on the pages. I am probably going way overboard on this silly book, but it keeps me busy and is the only thing the birthparents may see to make a decision about entrusting us with their child. Now I need to order 10 more copies for distribution to the agency and our attorney. Luckily, they are on sale 20% off!

I've decided to expand this little blog somewhat to start incorporating some helpful stuff for other adoptive parents. We've noticed more traffic on the Nest/Bump Adoption page and I'd like to help out other folks looking for information if they happen across my little corner of the web.

Shooting for mid-June approval. . .

We had the second of our joint interviews with the SW today and all went smoothly. So far, the interview process has been fairly painless. The conversations with the SW have been low-key - just getting to know about us as individuals and as a couple. SW is pretty good at identifying areas she thinks might be difficult for us (adjusting to sleep deprivation, etc.) and gave us some advice for books and resources on a few topics.

We also scheduled our last interview!!! We are really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this process. Allowing time for the SW to write our homestudy, then another meeting to go over it with us, we should be officially waiting sometime in June. I was really worried that hubby's impromptu trip to Scotland tomorrow was going to hold up the presses, but it all seems to be working out.

Which is great, because I have a TON of stuff I want to get done around the house. I've already gotten one quote for painting the rest of the interior and have another scheduled next week. We also need to get some concrete work done in the front yard (landscape edging and a new pathway from the driveway to our backyard), so I have contractors coming out to bid that stuff, too.

After the house projects are done, I think I might start working on preparing for a baby. That sounds so weird and distant, but I probably need to start thinking about having at least some stuff ready in case we get "the call." We've also decided to cloth diaper - instead of using disposables. I'm not sure how well it will go, but I want to give this a legitimate effort. I'm hoping to build up a nice little collection of diapers and supplies while I have some time to kill. Luckily, lots of gals on The Nest have given me some great advice and websites to check out for ideas.

I've been really encouraged by all the happy endings for my sisters on the Web - The Nesties saw a number of placements in the last couple of weeks. Hopefully, it's just a matter of time for us, too.

Been a while. . .

But we've made some decent progress in recent weeks! Our paperwork for the adoption agency is essentially done. Hubby is dropping off a last few items at their office tomorrow. I'm in the final throes of finishing our "Dear Expectant Parents" letter and profile book. I finally got some pics of hubby coaching - which I REALLY wanted to include in the profile because it's such a big part of his life. The book just wouldn't have felt complete without them.

Our good friends took some "family" pics of hubby and I at a local park last week - and Maggie (our dog) was even in some of them. I hope they come out decent - I'd love to have at least 2 or 3 to add to the mix of photos I already have.

Now we just wait for the agency. I e-mailed our new adoption worker earlier this week, but didn't get any response from her on where we are with moving towards some interviews. Hubby will be at their office tomorrow, so, hopefully, this will jog her memory to review our file and check in with me.

I was really hoping to be waiting for a placement by now - but our progress has really slowed. We completed our adoption training last week, so I'm feeling ready to move forward. But the agency had some personnel changes and I think the change in workflow is affecting our homestudy. I have to admit, seeing 4 other families at the training took a little wind out of my sails. They were all about where we are in the process, so it seems like the agency has a lot of homestudy work to do in the near future.

I know I need to be patient - there's probably no sense in getting worked up over a few weeks of delay when we'll probably be waiting for a placement between 6 months to a year. But I've gotten so much done recently, and I'm antsy to get the formalities over with. I have lots of projects around the house and yard to keep me busy while we are waiting, but I need to clear this process off the to-do list before I dive into some of those tasks.

I keep trying to remember Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. This whole process isn't up to us - we just have to trust that God has a timeline for this that will be revealed in good time.

For those of you who want to, feel free to pray for us that this process moves swiftly and positively. We'd really like to bring a baby home in 2009!!!

Wow - interesting. . .

This sounds sooo stupid, but. . . I think this adoption thing is really going to happen! We've had some actual progress with our application. Over the weekend, we took a Baby Care class at the local hospital. Tons of good info, but SIDS = SCARY!! How do parents sleep at night without worrying about all the horrible crap that could happen to your baby? I guess you just do what you can - and then let it go.

We do our formal adoption training this Saturday and next Tuesday. I'm excited to get this done for two reasons: I'm interested in the info and I want to meet some other families. We met another couple (who had just gotten a placement with a newborn) in our Baby class and I was surprised at how happy I was for them! I know that sounds kind of douche-y, but it's hard not to view other prospective adoptive parents as competition. Crappy, yes. Honest, absolutely.

But like I said, I was genuinely happy for them. What a neat thing to see others have their dream come true. Either I'm maturing, or this church-going is really starting to change me.

Speaking of church-going, I'm starting to dig this. A lot. I'm not on board with all of the concepts (sorry, I believe carbon-dating is accurate and dinosaurs did exist), but I'm really trying to get a better understanding of the Bible. I don't think I'll ever agree with the fundamentalist concept of the Bible as basis for a worldview, but I definitely think its teachings can show us a better way to live. Not the only way to live - but a better way for me. Sometimes church is difficult because I'm not always confident that I am surrounded by others who view things the way I do. But, I do feel welcome there and my bible study efforts are helping me to make better choices about things in everyday life. Nothing earth-shattering, mind you. Mostly about letting go of my selfishness and thinking more about what I can do for the world - and less about what the world can do for me.

And here's something interesting - a friend of ours called tonight and mentioned she has a friend doing cradle care for a newborn. Who needs a family. I guess the birthmom is working with an agency (not ours) who is trying to gather some families to present to her. I don't have the gut feeling that this is our baby. But it's really encouraging to know that, someday, we will get the phone call that makes us parents. Either way, I contacted our attorney to get his take on the situation. . .

I will keep you all posted.

Going to church tonight. . .

For an adoption support group meeting. We are still really early in the adoption process, so I'm not even sure what we'll get out of the meeting. I guess I'm worried that everyone there will have already adopted and this will be more of a "parenting an adopted child" thing. But, it might be a good place to ask some other people about their experiences, so I'm trying to keep an open mind.

I dropped off the bulk of our application paperwork (along with a substantial check) at our agency last week. I haven't heard from them, but I'm not sure that's anything to worry about. I suppose when they are ready to schedule interviews and what-not, they will find us. Best case scenario for us would probably be a late-March or early-April homestudy approval and then we begin waiting from there.

I meet with our attorney on Monday to start working on our profile that the birthmothers will look at. I have absolutely no idea what this thing will look like for us. We saw a handful of other profiles at the agency and I couldn't get over how many pictures they had in them of family and friends. Ed and I are close to our families and have a lot of friends, but we're not picture-takers by nature and don't have this type of stuff. I know what I want to say in the profile, but I hope I can cobble together enough pictures to make it look decent. At this point, our profile will mostly look like a vacation album since that's all we really have for pictures. Oh well, I guess we'll deal with that later.

So, that's where we're at this week. I had lunch with a friend I've known since childhood today and it was so great to see her! She was recently made partner in her law firm; I'm so proud of all she has accomplished. Plus, I got to try a restaurant I'd never been to before and it was really tasty. All in all a good day!

First blog. Ever. . .

Well, here it is. The official Blog of our Adoption Journey.

I'm already tired of that term. Isn't that terrible? It just sounds so trite. I am excited for what lay ahead of us - the possibility of parenthood, sharing our home with another human being, imparting our knowledge, values, and moral system. But those two words - the implications are staggering.

Before we decided to become prospective adoptive parents (PAPs), we didn't realize there was this whole other language about the subject. And a host of emotional and behavioral expectations that would be foisted upon us once we decided to enter this microcosm of parenthood. I knew there would be forms to fill out and hoops to jump through. But this is nothing compared to the intangible demands forced upon us (PAPs) by ourselves as a group and the outside world.

I'm always amazed at how people respond when I explain that we are attempting to adopt an infant. I've never gotten any of the "can't you have kids" or "how much does it cost to get a kid" idiocy that I hear other women speak about on blogs and such. I'm talking about The Look. The facial expression that I perceive on nearly every person I tell. It goes hand-in-hand with a softening of their voice and often the words, "that's great." They have already, in the span of a few seconds, summed up my situation and assessed what is the most socially appropriate way to respond. Fascinating. Sometimes, the pity is palpable. They know that the odds say that I'm incapable of having biological children and that's why I've chosen this route to parenthood. They assume that I've already pursued medical intervention for the problem - to no avail. They assume that I've shed countless tears and that my husband and I have failed at a task that the vast majority of the human population is extraordinarily successful at - making more humans.

And they are right.

But the truly f*#ked up part of the equation is that the onus is on ME to navigate this with tact and grace. To be an ambassador of sorts for the benefits and joy that adoption brings to many, many families. And I'll do that with a smile. Even though we all know that the industry (and I do mean to use the word industry here) is fraught with unscrupulous individuals looking to make a buck. The stories of birthmothers working the system to get their rent and expenses paid for by others with no intention of ever surrendering their infants. And adoptive parents who will stop at nothing and spend as much money as it takes to secure their birthright of parenthood. I cannot believe we have jumped into the fray.

Luckily, there are good people in this business of parenthood for pay. Attorneys and social workers who strive to make the system better for everyone: the prospective parents with broken hearts, the birthmothers who need help to change their lives, and the children in the middle. We were fortunate enough to find some of these people - and be able to afford to work with them. I've learned that the "quickest match" isn't the way to go. We want the RIGHT match. I don't want to take a child from someone who could parent her baby if she used all of the resources available to her. I don't want to be an adoptive mother at the cost of leaving a birthmother confused and agonizing over her decision because she didn't get the counseling she needed to make an informed choice. And I don't want to make a glorified baby broker rich by spending tens of thousands of dollars in the hopes of being matched in only 3 to 6 months.

I'd like to think we are better people than that. . .